On Being an Extroverted Introvert

I was listening to a teleseminar the other day and the host said something about how she was an “extroverted introvert”- and it was a complete lightbulb moment for me. You always hear people grouped into the two “standard” groups- introvert and extroverts. Introverts are stereotypically shy, quiet, etc, while extroverts are known as being the life of the party, the center of attention. But extroverted introverts? Hadn’t ever heard that term before, but it completely makes sense.
You see, I definitely need “me” time. I’m not a huge fan of crazy big parties, going to events alone (gah!), or even being around the same group of people for super extended periods of time. Sometimes, I just need a little quiet. But part of that, I think, comes from the “extroverted introvert” part of me. It’s exhausting for me to go to parties or events (especially when I’m flying solo or only know the host), or going to conferences without planned wing-people. I feel like I have to be outgoing and cheery and make conversation with everyone I meet, which inevitably makes me feel completely awkward and overanalyze how I acted after the fact– because, of course, I always feel like I made an ass out of myself at least once during the course of the event.

But on the flipside? I hate living and working alone these days. Going to the gym is minimal social interaction, as is going to class, but at least I’m among the living when I do that. I crave– literally, crave– a scheduled lunch with a friend here, a movie night there, god forbid a date– to fulfill that side of me. It’s like a semi-extroverted side, I think. I don’t want the spotlight on me (despite my old dreams of being a Broadway star…no thank you to that amount of stage fright!) but I do want to put myself out there and be lively and a conversationalist with a few people… and have people who appreciate the completely random and awkward things I might say. And I also have had people tell me that at parties/speeches/performances, they couldn’t tell that I was so nervous I wanted the earth to swallow me whole– so apparently the extroverted part of me definitely comes out and masks my introversion.

In truth, I’m not totally sure where I was going with this post, other than to share my own experience with you and to see if anyone else feels the same way? I know so many bloggers are complete introverts, but maybe some of y’all out there have had similar experiences. So. Who all feels like an extroverted introvert? Or am I just nuts on top of it all? And which other extroverted introverts in LA want to hang out? We’ll start a club! 

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0 thoughts on “On Being an Extroverted Introvert”

  1. I am exactly like this. I pretty much prefer staying in my comfort zone, and staying HOME a lot, but I am socially comfortable being out and about with other people, too!

  2. I can SO relate to this! I, too, lately am really craving human interaction. I’m involved in so many online activities and while they are filled with people and there is constant conversation, it’s just not the same thing! I’m down in San Diego so if you’re ever down this way, look me up!

  3. Definitely understamd. Out in socoal situations it is absolutely exhaustong but we know the norm is to be social so ae mold ourselves into that. Also love my me time but definitely have those moments of wanting to be around people, etc

  4. I’m a extroverted introvert. I prefer to have social interactions on the small scale, no more than two or three people at a time. If it’s a good conversation, I can go on forever. If it’s a fake networking event, that can be extremely draining.

    I’m not sure if the extroversion is “masking” your introversion. Instead, if you’re feeling confident in a subject or activity, you’ll do well. I just need to crawl back in a cave to recharge.

  5. Cynthia @kindasillymommy

    Oh yes, I guess I have a new description for myself. Thank you for that, I am the exact same way, I like quiet time, and am mostly in my head, but I can be in a group setting and feel comfortable too. I don’t like being alone, like ever. But even when I am surrounded by people, I am in my head and over analyzing everything and everybody, including myself. hmmm.. makes me think! Interesting. 🙂

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